it’s passing by me coldly

like you…

Oh come on, you don’t know who I am. I don’t even know who you are. We are complete strangers.

Yet I think I have a crush on you, how stupid that sounds?

Okay, this is not my school’s library. This is a University library, if someone knows an A-level student like me sneaks into this place, he or she would call security and kick me out. On the other hand, from what I heard from my friend, you are doing your second year in Economics.

That’s it. I don’t even know where you are from. Malaysia???

Yet I like you. I really like you. My heart goes thump thump thump when you walk by. My mind told me to stop looking around to catch a sight of you.

But I can’t.

I know this is really hard to work. When exam period ends, there would be no reason for both of us to come to this place. Right? Then you would probably fly home, and I would stay here, alone.

I mean, what am I talking now?

Gosh, I have no clue. Because I have no clue, I guess I must like you a lot.

Damn my friends, and they keep talking like it’s so easy to approach you and introduce myself. Oh wake up! I might be freaking confident to talk to a strange guy on the street, but that only happens when I don’t like him.

In this case, I like you. I like you a lot.

That makes me act like a dork.

Okay, I need to go to bed.

Hmm, why don’t you make me trip over and have my ankle hurt? I don’t care if I hurt my ankle or whatsoever, as long as I can talk to you, it’s alright.

I am crazy. Seriously crazy.

One year after my break up, and you are the first guy making my heart going crazy.

Much calmer than the first few days I saw you, still, I could not delete you just yet.

Why?

Gosh, I am actually listening to this song T.T How come?  Someone who is not into that kind of cutie pop like me, how could I actually end up listening to this song? My head must be swapped with some other teenage girls. Must be. Gosh! Something isn’t right here.

I just got a new offer to restart my writing again. Honestly, I am very delighted to take it. It has been ages since the last time I worked as a freelancer. However, it always rings true to me that whenever I started to do freelancing, my free-flowing got stuck and I could no longer write anything decent and suit my taste. Say, I have been struggling for merely one year, after working for British Council, just to make myself comfortable enough to go and reread the stuffs I wrote. My most recent story, “The Last Apology”, my happiness for being able to write it to the fullest of my ability hasn’t died out yet… So should I?

I don’t understand why people always love to have me tell them lovely stories. Even when they ask me to tell them something sad and sorrowful, in the end, I have no idea why I always end up adding some flavour of hope to the ending. Guess that’s why I was called a weirdo.

Anyway, in a good mood today. Better just go and ignore all the things that make me ponder.

“I love you”. Haizz, damn, single status. Already one year and my heart is still left vacant.

Single and happy, that’s so much plentiful to ask for, right?

At a drop of a hat, I begin to enjoy the thought that air is spreading to my lungs, jumping here and there before returning to my nostrils.

Exhale. Inhale.

You might do that all the time, but honestly, how many times are there you really cherish every breath you take?

I think I need to go sleep or I may make myself a coffee and climb out to the roof to celebrate this happiness.

Damn. And my heart just told me, it would do whatever it feels like without regarding the fact that it is raining outside…

Let’s breathe people!

Like I bought a book recently, which is called “Silk” by an Italian author (sorry it did not impress me enough to print his name in my mind). Personally, I hate the book. What he said, and the story he told surely had no strength to trigger any feelings within me at all. I read, turned the page and simply forgot everything he said.

The ironical point is, tonnes of people complimented that book and that is to say it must be my dumbness to be blame for not liking it at all. Blah. Who cares?

My friends are weird. I know some of them don’t like it. So what’s the point of going with the flow and praising it with your empty heads? Just go and freaking tell everybody that you hate it. Okay?

Be frank, people!